I hate my mother.

Hate.

Detest.

This is not a ‘teenage mood-swing’ this is not a ‘she told me I couldn’t do something’

No. There is nothing she said no to, nothing she’s done today.

In general, everything she does is immature, stupid, emotionally driven, and just plain uncivilized.

I am ashamed to be related to her.

Force me to eat lunch, then call me fat for whatever I choose to barely eat.
Grade A parenting there bitch.

Parents need to stop and think for a moment:
If it’s someone’s sexuality is there choice? Who molded them in such a way that they ‘turned out this mess up and perverse’?
The parents did.

I know how when you say something like ‘I hate my mom’ no one thinks you really mean it. And later, you and you’re mom are okay, and you don’t ‘hate’ her anymore.

But I really do. I hate my mother. She makes me sick 23 out of the 24 hours of the day.
Every single day.

lmao I can’t even keep my Tamagotchi alive, and you think I should have kids?

When I see these openly gay or transgendered kids with parents that love, accept and support them; it brings me to tears, every time.
Not only because it’s beautiful, but because I know I will never know what that feels like.

Making obligations for me an not telling me about them until an hour beforehand. Also wonderful.

I get up, earlier than humanly needed and say I will be a good child and go buy the house full of $200 or more of groceries alone, since you are sick. And you have the nerve to tell me that I’m running later than I should be?

Oh fuck you. I really hate you.

I am legitimately not sure how much longer I can take living in this house. I understand that when you’re a teenager no one ‘gets along’ with their parents. But when I’m eighteen years old, and my mother is screaming at me constantly over almost nothing. When it is so constant, and ridiculous that my father is asking her things like, ‘Don’t you have a fucking Xanax you can take?’ or totally disagreeing with what she’s said so that I don’t be upset over it, there is a problem.

Never, when I was a child was it good cop bad cop like this, my father has ALWAYS been the stricter of my two parents. The one that laid down the laws and set punishments if need be, that kind of thing.

And now that I’m older it is like my mother hates me. I’m not going to act like I’m perfect. I’m not going to act like I do everything I’m told. Because I’m not perfect. But it is not like I sit off and specifically disobey. If anything I try and cater to her spastic ass. But going on rants, because she doesn’t ‘like’ my make up. [When I’m in college for cosmetology] and telling me that I always look terrible and I’m fat, and no amount of make up can cover that, and no one is ever going to marry me because they’d want me, and if they do I’m going to be worthless, because I never cook or clean.

Which. As a side note. I cook at least one meal a day, almost everyday, and do at least some kind of cleaning on some part of the house, everyday.

It’s totally unnecessary behavior on her part if you ask me. And I won’t lie, at first, it was hurtful, but now I just resent it, and I’m slowly coming to hate her. Because my feelings replicate what I feel like I’m given.

…She was never like this before I came out to her. Never.
End rant.

Hit me when the only thing I’ve done is not respond to you as well as you think I should, and I swear to god, I’m not going to stand there in shock and stare like you think I am, I’m going to hit you back harder.
And then leave.

Leave, and never speak to you again.

I was planning on leaving and never speaking to you again in two more years anyway, but hitting me would rush that along.

Sometimes, Like I think My Dad has the Patience of a Saint

Because like, if I was him, I think I would have resorted to being an abusive spouse long ago.
Like if I marry a woman like my mom, fists will fly…followed by divorce papers.
But that’s irrelevant.

Hailey Blaylock told me in 10th grade that my tarot said I’d be an abusive wife…