So i’m going to be turning twenty tomorrow (I know Im a baby), and I decided, for any of my followers that might be…a good bit younger, I’m going to make a list of things I wish I’d been told when I was a teenager. Just to…make it easier? I didn’t learn all of this by myself, Ive got a great girlfriend that has opened my eyes a lot, and I’ve learned some lessons the hard way. But if I can save anyone the trouble…
Alright, here we go:
- Don’t label yourself. In any way. From anything as complicated as your sexuality, to as simple as your gender, or colour preference. To label is to limit.
- Don’t limit yourself. Don’t think because you won’t wear that, or won’t listen to that, it makes you ‘cooler’ or more chic. It severely limits your opportunities.
- Don’t settle. Don’t settle for less than the very best. You deserve the very best, of everything.
- Don’t let the first time you get drunk, be surrounded my strangers.
- Don’t make sex so important. Realize all it is, is sex. Not the essence of a relationship, not a status symbol, not the answer to your problems. It wont save a relationship, earn you someone’s heart, or make you ‘cool’. However, it can cause many problems, with friendships, relationships, and emotionally, make sure you’re ready for that. (*Sex, CAN be very meaningful, in a committed emotionally ready relationship. It can strengthen a bond and love and be a beautiful wonderful experience for you and your partner, but that’s not the kind of sex I’m talking about.)
- You can’t make anyone love you. Plain and simple.
- You can’t change anyone.
- There is nothing you can not do, don’t put off projects or hold yourself back, because you have doubts. The greatest impedance of success, is fear of failure.
- You will gain friends, and you will loose friends. Welcome everyone with an open heart, watch them leave with a strong soul. Never trade any part of yourself to keep someone in your life. If they don’t want to be there, they won’t be. Any friendship you have to earn is not friendship.
- Never hold back your personality for fear of rejection, or fear of loosing someone.
- Sometimes you will grow out of a person, and they will negatively begin to affect you, don’t feel bad about saving yourself the emotional pain, and distancing yourself, this will happen to everyone at least once.
- Respect your teachers (as long as they respect you), you never know when you might need them in some way.
- Don’t burn bridges. Don’t seek vengeance, you never know when you may do something irreversible to someone you really may need one day.
- Network. It doesn’t matter if you are *close* with this person, being acquaintances with a lot of people is good, this might really save your ass later
- Always invite the kids that sit alone to sit with you.
- Don’t rush love.
And lastly, relax. You’ll make it. Life gets hard, then gets better, there are ups and downs, people come, people go. People make you laugh and make you cry. But your teenage years really are your hardest, so just chin up, make the best of it! <3
Those anti-bullying ads are nice. Now how about we admit not all victims of bullies are straight cis-gendered caucasian females. #Thanks
A quick thing, I’d like to bring up, because some of my followers are actually fairly young, and this might be useful to them.
When I was in middle school, the last year of it, I was crazy over this boy Erich. Crazy. But so was my best friend Ashley. Ashley was the kind of girl, that boy’s cheated with before anyone really knew what ‘cheating’ was. So needless to say, of course I assumed she’d have a chance if either of us had one. Because he was one of those..’extra cool kids.’ And we’d always have play middle school girl fights over it, it was so important then, who got Erich. And she tried, so hard to impress him, constantly. Me not so much.
In the end, do you know who got Erich? Me. But do you know when? Senior Year of high school, when he was literally almost last on my list. There’s a lesson in that. Several, you never know what’s going to happen, and you never know what will matter tomorrow. Enjoy things while you can, don’t live life trying to please someone else. Please yourself.
I’ve noticed I hate girls between the ages of 13-16 that are anything like I was at that age.
They’re just so fucking stupid.
No one cares that you hate this band, or that that you feel an undying need to defend this one.
No one cares if you feel like an outcast because you choose to dress like one.
Why do you complain so much hmm?
I can’t believe I was ever that bad. God damn.
Late Night Musings.
On my bedroom door I keep things people made me in high school. Memories, pictures people drew me, over decorated notes, or my name made artistic; pleasant things. But nestled among these is a single, lined sheet of paper with a poem written in pencil, titled ‘Poem (: ‘. And at first this seems another of the pleasantries, until one is to read it. And then it’s true depressive nature becomes obvious. If anyone ever questions I simply pass it off as an irrelevant gift, a display of talent that was awarded to me, by a friend.
But I will never throw that poem away, because that would be like throwing my past away. I regard my mistakes as lessons and I don’t regret them or forget what I’ve learned. And my lesson hangs on my door. Because the truth is, it was written for me, in what I can only imagine was inner turmoil on the author’s part. But that poem means so much to me, for many reasons. It symbolizes what I’ve over come, what we’ve overcome, and if I feel too weak, it is there to remind me that at one point my life was harder, at one point I’d done worse things, and at one point I was more alone.
To be responsible for ruining someone’s hopes and dreams, the only person you care about, who at the time you mistakenly have decided you love. That is not a feeling I wish upon anyone. I wanted to die. Truly. And as far as I was concerned no one would miss me. Except her, there I’d gone and ruined everything for her, and she so desperately wanted me alive. It wasn’t romantic love, not at all, but that is true love for someone.
So you see now, I look back and I remind myself that actions do have consequences, and sometimes very brutal ones at that. I learned that things are never as bad as they seem. There is always light no matter how dim the situation seems, and you’ll survive; one day it will be over. But most of all I think I learned that I really am loved, not the romantic kind, the kind of love you die for someone for. That’s the best kind to me.
Here I am now, years later, I still have that poem, and the girl who was my best friend is now my sister. I was convinced I was in love with her, and that she would never be able to do anything but hate me, for ruining everything. I’ve never been good at reading my own emotions, much less someone else’s. And that’s to say the least.
Though I have to say now, I’m thankful she was and still is in my life, not because I have some weird month long teenage crush, but because she really is like a sister to me. She keeps me sane at my worst, and laughs with me at my best. And I can’t wait to get an apartment and a cat with her, attend each other’s weddings, and one day open our salon and babysit her kids(just to make them hyper).
This Is A Rant About ‘Bullies’
So this post, will probably loose me followers and gain me hate, but I don’t care, this has been building up for a long time.
There is a reason, you never see me reblog all of the ‘stop bullying’ posts. It’s because unlike 90% of the people reblogging them, I refuse to be a hypocrite.
A lot (Not all) of these people, on this stop bullying kick, are just as bad, if not worse than a lot of these bullies.
If you get on here, and you talk shit about a celebrity. Or someone, you don’t know. Then reblog stop bullying. You’re a hypocrite.
If you see someone making a hateful comment, and you defend the other person with a remark like, ‘No one likes you bitch go be hateful some where else.’ which I see a lot of, then reblog this stop bullying. You’re a hypocrite.
If someone starts a rumor that you’re pregnant, so you start a rumor their gay, and you’re against bullying. You’re a hypocrite.
And don’t say that’s not you, because I know of these thousands of people that are against bullying, not all of them are innocent.
And another thing, a lot of these people that I see being taken up for; are people not a lot of people know. Now how is it, over a thousand people are taking up for you, but only a hundred follow you, or whatever. Now that just doesn’t make sense. This is 2011, people like to take things out of context. For attention. If you make a blog, about atheist, and how they’re all going to hell. Except the atheist to flame you. Or if you ANNOUNCE IT, to the internet be it here, or youtube, that you self harm. If you take pictures, and display it. And people tell you to kill yourself. You can’t be surprised. It is not socially acceptable and it never will be. Some common sense MUST be applied in life. You have to know people will judge you. And when they do, you can’t take all of their hate out of context like you didn’t ask for it, and somewhat deserve it and say ‘Oh I’m being bullied.’ And I am inclined to believe that’s what a lot of it is.
I’m not saying bullying isn’t happening, because it is. It’s obvious, but it happened when I was in high school and it will happen when my kids are in high school. Don’t act like it’s miraculously gotten worse for this generation, it hasn’t if anything it’s easier. But now days, kids are so used to being spoiled that as soon as someone tells them their sweater is ugly, they’re being picked on. Oh suck it up.
NOW, Im not saying bullying in any form is okay. But I am saying, for some reason, the human race tends to think fighting fire with fire ends the war. It only prolongs it. Remember that.